Silent Ponders
by Oma Desallah
Summary: Sam thinks about a certain blueeyed linguist


Title: Silent Ponders

Author: Oma Desallah

Spoilers: Mentions Fire and Water, Forever in a Day, Meridian, Fallen and Lifeboat. Missing Scene from Lifeboat

Summary: Sam watches Daniel drink coffee and ponders their realtationship Sam POV

Paring: S/D

Author's Note Thank you sooo much to my beta readers-Minniash, thefuturejack, and aspentreekisses. I love you guys.  
  
I think about him day and night, and I watch him drink his coffee. He is the reason I go to work everyday. That brown haired, blue-eyed anthropologist. Every woman on base likes him. He spends all of his time working and drinking coffee. I love to watch him drink his coffee. It isn't just a drink, it's an art. He savors every sip, letting his lips linger. Hmm… his lips. Whether he is drinking coffee or speaking, I am almost positive that they never stop moving.

I wonder how Teal'c deals with it him constantly babbling one of his hmm… 23? Languages while we are off world. They share a tent. I have to share with my "older brother" the Colonel. Groan. Don't get me wrong I do like the guy, and was extremely attracted to him at first, but calling you boyfriend "sir" all the time would of been a pain in the ass. But then there's Daniel.

I don't think I have ever called him sir. Never has he called me Carter either. I have a first name you know! He did once call me Captain Doctor, but these days it is just Sam…It rolls off his tongue so well. Again, I mention his mouth. I am sounding like a lovesick teenager, but he drives me insane. Especially in those tight black shirts of our BDUs.

I almost didn't survive his death. That is when I knew what I had lost. He was my friend, I thought- but it hurt too much. More of my heart was missing. I have lost comrades before, while in the Gulf, but it was never like this. It hurt less when he "died" the first time, during that first year when he was stuck on that water planet.

I think I should have known how I felt when Shar'e died after three years of us searching for her and Skarra. I cared more about how he handled the loss. His pain. I didn't morn the lost life very much, I barely knew her. But still didn't click until three years after that, when it was, in my opinion, too late.

When we found him alive in the "City of the Lost" (hmm…how ironic), it hurt that he didn't remember me. Me, his coffee partner, his complain about Jack to-er, his friend. We had shared everything with each other, except how we felt about one another. When he asked if we were ever together that day in the tent, I denied it because it shocked me. Could he feel the same way deep down? He soon remembered Shar'e and his love for her. But did he remember me in the same way, and just not share it with one of us?

Then everything changed soon after Daniel got his memories back. He was bombarded by all those memories and personalities that were stuck on that damn broken ship. I thought I was losing him, again. After the ordeal was over I hugged him for a long time remembering my pain from when he was ascended. When I let go I knew I had tears in my eyes, so I left him standing in his office- a bit dumbfounded.

I went home, what a strange concept, and sat in front of the boob tube watch some sci-fi show and started to drink a beer. The doorbell rang. Low and behold who is it , but the lovely Daniel in the flesh, and in civvies I might add. I let him in and offered him something to drink, trying to be the polite, unexpected host. He told me he was checking on me after I ran off on him like that. We were friends. We could share everything. Right?

"Because, I had been afraid of losing you again." Did I say that aloud?

I had said it._ I_ had been afraid.

He just stared at me, not knowing what to say. A tongue-tied linguist. Any other time I would laugh my ass off. Daniel, with nothing to say. Ha.

He stared at me for a moment trying to read me as if I was an artifact with ancient script on it. Pulling me into one of those hugs that only people of Daniel's size can do, (You know those hugs. The ones that encompass all of you), he gently smoothed my hair. I let the held-in-tears fall on to his shoulders.

Ever been told big girls don't cry? That's a load of crap. Holy Hannah, I'm a freaking fountain if I get started. Then he said the words that made me turn into mush.

"I never want to leave you again, ever."

Trying to read him the same way he had done to me, I pondered if the "you" was plural, as in SG-1 and the SGC, or singular, as in me.

He answered my unspoken question in the most amazing way. I will never forget it, because it changed my life. He unwrapped his arms from around me and stared deep in to my eyes, telling my heart what it wanted to hear. He sealed the deal with a mind-blowing kiss.

It was an "only in Hollywood" kiss with enough intensity behind it to bring down a Death Glider.

"I love you, Sam"

My heart stopped. He loved me. With those words I gave myself to him. All of me.

"Daniel, I have loved you since…I don't know when."

With our admissions heightening all of our senses we were both flying high on love. I received those lips that I daydream about on me.

My neck.

My Shoulder.

I was suddenly his coffee, his craving, and he was savoring every part of me. I was in heaven, floating. I had gone to another world with out stepping through the Gate. Between feeling Daniel with me and the thoughts of Daniel, I was on a high that nobody could touch, and no alien devices were used.

Now its over a year later. 

I am watching him drink his coffee and read his daily comics. Not in the commissary, but at our own kitchen table, now that I am officially Lieutenant Colonel Doctor Samantha Carter-Jackson.

But I still have to share a tent with Jack off world.

Why did I let this happen? I know we have regs, but at least Teal'c doesn't snore.  
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Daniel's POV next chapter. Please R and R. PLEASE!!!!! I have plans on maybe doing a Jack POV, tell me what you think


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